Let’s Skip The New Year’s Bullshit
A few days before the New Year, and I’m already sick of the whole ‘New Year, New You’ bullshit that’s everywhere. Whether you’re on Facebook, watching TV, or at a store, you’re bombarded with messages asking you: What did you achieve this year? What are your goals for next year?
There’s a lot of pressure, especially on social media, to be able to list all of the awesome things that you’ve achieved in the last year, and share your hopes for an even better year in 2019. Half of your friends are probably reminiscing on their new marriages, babies, houses, promotions, and triathlon medals. All of those things are awesome, and totally worth celebrating. Yet, what do you do when you didn’t achieve anything big or your year’s gone completely off track?
Re-Adjusting Our Expectations
I entered into 2018 with a lot of plans, a lot of hope for improved health, and goals for my business. It’s incredibly easy to look back on the year and think of all of the things that I DIDN’T do. Items on my to-do list that I never followed through with. The fun events that I missed out on, because of health issues beyond my control. The symptoms that progressed instead of subsided. All of the goals that I created, but didn’t take action on in my business. Yet, I know that focusing on the negative has NEVER made me feel better.
In general, society defines achievements as physically gaining things or reaching some big life goals. Like there is some sort of a lifetime achievement checklist, and you’ve only had a ‘successful’ year if you’ve checked off a few boxes?! It’s easy to feel sad and mentally beat yourself up when you look at life like that.
Instead, I try to readjust my expectations (my therapist’s idea) to think of the little feel good moments, and celebrate the small wins. When I list out all of the GOOD that happened over the past year, it really is a much longer list then the ‘bad’. Yes, the list of good items may seem like small things at first glance, but that’s okay! As Robin Sharma said, “Small daily micro-wins when done continually over time lead to staggering results.’’
Can You Still Benefit from Setting Goals?
Absolutely. I believe that you can still benefit from setting goals in your life and your business. Yes, even if you’re dealing with chronic illness, uncertainty, or life in general. I try to focus on creating small goals, because not only do big goals seem achievable, they also don’t focus on the small wins along the way. “Help more people” is a great wish. But, without any small goals to help you get there, it truly isn’t an attainable goal. Finish this damn blog post, now that is a small goal that I can actually DO. Instead of ‘become an advocate’, you can read a post on how to get started!
I’ve always set goals and taken pride in being a high achiever. On the other hand, I’m usually the hardest on myself when I don’t achieve a goal or complete a task. Who has the energy for that? My immune system is already attacking me, life in general isn’t easy for anyone, why are wasting so much time beating ourselves up?!
That’s where grace comes in. I KNOW I deserve to give myself the same grace I consistently give to others. I am proud of myself for working on giving myself more grace every damn day. It really is a conscious process for me, and I am constantly working on re-phrasing my thoughts. Is it easy? No. Is it worthwhile? Absolutely. And it’s exactly why I started this blog, and Full of Grit & Grace.
I think we all have a ton of grit that helps us get through life, but we also deserve to give ourselves a lot more grace as well.